Friday, September 12, 2014

To each her own...

Mom asks: "How was school?"
Julia answers with a detailed explanation of what was discussed in science.
Audrey responds with a detailed explanation of who chased who on the playground.

Mom asks: "What do you think of your new school's playground?
Julia  - "Ehhh, it's hot. I usually sit in the shade.
Audrey - "The monkey bars don't go straight. The bars come down and then go back up. I had to teach people how to do them and I got blisters on my hands. Wanna see? The nurse gave me bandaids. Can I have more bandaids when these come off?" 

Mom asks: "Have you made any friends?"
Julia - *pointed look with no verbal response*
Audrey - "Will, Eli, and Zeph said I was beautiful.  I picked Sophie to be my partner for 'lunch bunch'. Now, he (boy not to be named) wants to give me hugs... Now, he's telling people I'm his girlfriend... He kissed me on the cheek at lunch today.  (Yes, we contacted the teacher and this hasn't been a problem for over 2 weeks now.)

Mom says: "Dinner time!"
Julia - "I set the table for me to sit here."
Audrey - "But I want to sit there."
Julia - "Too bad." 
Audrey - "But you sat there last night."
Dad - "It's the same argument every night!!"

Mom says: "You didn't finish your homework!"
Julia - races back to the table to immediately complete her assignment
Audrey - calls out from her room "My teacher's only going to put an 'X' on it. No big deal."

Mom asks: "What movie are we watching?"
Julia - home videos!
Audrey -  "Dora, The Jungle Book, Tinkerbell!!!"
*cue the whining, arguing, and Julia's comment of "her choices are so babyish"

Mom asks: "What kind of smoothie do y'all want for snack?"
Julia - Peanut butter and banana
Audrey - Strawberry and banana
*cue the whining, arguing, and Audrey's comment of "she always gets to pick!"

Mom asks on Saturday: "What are we going to do today?"
Julia - "I found this rock in the yard. Maybe it's a mineral. Can I do a streak test using the tile in the bathroom? It left white lines! It also has cleavage lines. I think it's calcite. Can I take it to school to ask my teacher if I'm right?"
Audrey - Dolls!

Mom says: "Wake up. It's time for school!"
Julia - covers her head with the sheets and otherwise ignores me.
Audrey - 3 possibilities - a) kicks wildly and growls
b) bounces up and helps me wake Julia up nicely 
c) bounces up and starts yelling "Julia, WAKE UP! You take too long and I can't be late to breakfast because then I won't get to sit at the first table with the people I want to talk to and I won't have time to eat breakfast and it's not fair that your class gets to eat breakfast in your classroom because that means you have more time to eat! And it's just not fair!"

Mom says: "Y'all will go to sleep faster if you stay in your separate beds"
Julia - "Yeah! That's what I always tell her!"
Audrey - "But... "

Mom says at midnight when checking on the girls: "Little Stinks. Always wind up together. Always."