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Top 10 Ways to Know that I have Family Visiting (by Diane Ford a.k.a. "Mammy")

When I get to work I have banana in my hair.
When I get into bed at night, there is peanut butter on the pillow and crackers between the sheets.
All the dog treats are gone.
None of the remembered user names on my laptop are mine.
When you turn on any tv in the house, the Disney Channel comes on.
There is a Berenstain Bear book in every room of the house.
My car is in the driveway, not the garage.
There is ice cream in the freezer.
The treadmill is used 75% more than when I am alone.
My vocabulary is restricted...can't say anything about luck, can't say stupid, gay, etc.