Kindergarten

I hate Kindergarten.

It's NOT an exciting step of independence.
It's NOT a room full of precious 5 year olds.
It's NOT a time to celebrate!

Instead, it's a terrifying thrust into reality.
It's a room full of snotty nosed potential bullies to the 1 precious 5 year old in the class!

It's a time for tears and mommy breakdowns!

In case you can't read between the lines, I'm not looking forward to dropping my child off at Kindergarten Monday. I'm terrified!

Yet despite this overwhelming sense of uncertainty, it's my job to put on a brave face, force encouraging words from my mouth, and willingly send my firstborn off to face the world on her own. I can't, however, keep millions of questions from running through my head.

What if she has a hard time making new friends?
What if she has a mean teacher?
What if she gets lost in the 1,000+ student school?
What if she has a hard time figuring out how to navigate the cafeteria?
What if some kid (kids??!?!?) start picking on her?

What if she has problems at school that she doesn't tell me about?

What if all my fears about Kindergarten are unintentionally projected onto my child?
What if I just don't want my baby growing up?
What if I want to pause time and keep my child little forever?

Oh dear. I'm a mess.

Kindergarten.

She may be ready.

I'm not.