Thursday, November 12, 2009

Is it bad that I want to "hide" all of my Summerville Facebook Friends? (Summerville being the church where Matt no longer serves) Is it wrong of me not to want to read about what they're doing and thinking? Most of the Facebook posts that they update are nice to read. For example: I'm thrilled to know that Becca got her first college acceptance letter, and that Abbie made the volleyball team. I don't even mind reading that loud Danny and exceptionally loud Stephanie are now "dating." What I don't want to see is negativity that just brings my hurt and anger back to the surface. I don't want to read people's (ahem..... adult's) rude reactions to Sara's decision to attend a different church. And this week, I really didn't want to read about the prospective youth minister coming to town.
Do I want Matt to have that job back? no
Do I want the stress and dread of those Sundays and Wednesdays? no
Do I regret Matt quitting? well. I do believe him falling on his sword was the "right" thing for him to do, but yeah... sometimes I regret it.

I'm likely caught in the pit of jealousy that Summerville is "moving on" with a new youth minister before we have been able to "move on." And I mean that figuratively and literally!

I'm not kidding when I tell you that I stand over Matt's phone WILLING it to ring. When his phone does ring, my left ear works diligently to keep the girls quiet and the right ear is desperately studying the sound of Matt's voice to know whether the call is personal or professional. When he sits down at the computer I sometimes steal a glance over to see if there are any BOLD new messages in his inbox. (Matt - I promise I don't do it often, but yes - it has happened... you likely already realized that.)

I know we're very fortunate. We have an amazing extended family. We have health. We have savings! We have a God that is somehow, someway spending this time preparing Matt - all 4 of us - to serve Him in an exciting way. We have a God that is preparing a church where Matt can effectively minister... a church all 4 of us can call home.

I just hope the preparation doesn't take too much longer.

No comments:

Post a Comment